Tesla Roadster gets literally launched into the air

Hang on, what?

Yup. Elon Musk is back (did he ever go away?) with yet more wild promises and potential vapourware, although in fairness to Tesla, the prototype Roadster did genuinely launch itself into the air at the event, albeit by remote control and without a driver (pilot?) in the seat.

So how does this all work?

Well, let’s start with the basics. First off, this Tesla Roadster doesn’t seem to be a Roadster at all, but rather a fixed-head coupé which clearly takes design inspiration from the Cybertruck, but which also seems to crib quite a lot from the Lamborghini Murciélago too. It will be fully electric, of course, but Tesla isn’t making any official claims about performance or range just yet. Or at least, not proper official claims. Musk, at the event, did make an offhand comment about the car being capable of reaching ‘half the speed of sound’, but who knows if he was being serious or not. Tesla is, for now, quoting a top speed in the region of 370km/h. The one performance stat we do have is that the ‘Thrust’ version of the car should be able to hit 97km/h from a near-standing start in 0.81 seconds.

Hang on, what? Again?

Yup, not a typo (although, as ever, press releases aren’t issued under oath…). For what it’s worth, the previous concept version of the Roadster, shown back in 2021, had a 200kWh battery and more than 1,000hp from a three-motor setup, with a claimed range of around 1,000km. This new Roadster, in its Thrust form, uses a combination of powerful electric motors, plus a suction fan — like that of the McMurtry Speirling or a 1978 Brabham BT49 ‘Fan Car’ Formula One racer — to literally suck the car down to the ground, even at a standstill. Then, for the ultimate in ‘take-off’, it also features cold-gas thrusters.

What are those?

Technically, they’re the simplest form of rocket engine, as they use a compressed, non-flammable gas that’s simply pushed hard out the back of the rocket body when you open the valve. We’re not sure what the gas is yet — air or inert nitrogen seem like the safest guesses — nor whether the car has an on-board compressor to refill the rockets on the fly, or whether that means a dealer visit every time.

And the flying?

Ah, this will be the ‘Rocket’ version of the Roadster, which — yes — features yet more cold-gas thrusters to hurl the Roadster into the air, like a Hawker Harrier jump-jet taking off, and then land it again an unspecified distance away. Great for dealing with traffic jams, we guess? Even in the pantheon of Elon Musk’s unfulfilled promises, this feels like a bit of a whopper, and it’s a long, hard route from a single demo event at SpaceX to getting such a car on the road. For now, Tesla simply, drily, says that such technology is not yet road-approved.

So, when can I have one?

How long is a piece of string? How many roads must a man walk down? What is the meaning of life? Tesla is taking deposits for the Roadster, and if you head over to the Tesla Ireland website right now, you can lay down an initial €5,000, followed by a subsequent €45,000 within ten days, for a ‘Thrust’ version, or €5,000 followed by a subsequent €245,000 (again, not a typo) within ten days, although nothing even close to a delivery date is being discussed just yet.

Considering that it’s been half a decade since the previous concept version of the Roadster was first shown, we wouldn’t be holding our breath, but hopefully our future robot overlords will be enjoying their flying Teslas by 2100 at the latest. Or thereabouts.